Use Words to Describe the Way Your Child Feels

Your child can show intense feelings — suddenly becoming excited, frustrated, happy, angry, or afraid. Give each feeling a name. When a box won’t open or a car won’t roll, your child may drop it or throw it in anger. Tell them calmly that you know it makes them angry when the toy won’t work. These words show your toddler that you understand their anger. It helps them learn to tell you how they are feeling, instead of acting out.

Show them how to handle strong feelings. Help them learn how the toy works, substitute another toy, or just hold them gently. They will know you care about their feelings, and they will start learning to handle them. It takes a long time for a child to understand and cope with their feelings. Your help will make this learning easier.

Here are some feeling words:

• Happy or glad
• Sad or unhappy
• Scared or afraid
• Angry or mad
• Silly
• Excited
• Proud

What It Is Like to Be 17 – 18 Months Old

How I Talk

• I understand more words than I can say.
• I’m getting good at copying words.
• I often babble to myself.
• Sometimes I will do what you ask me to do.
• I try to sing, and I like to have you sing to me.
• Sometimes I can ask you for what I want — like a cookie — by naming it.
• I can say about ten words, but mostly I use the word “no.”
• I am beginning to understand the meaning of “now.”

How I Grow

• I like to lug, tug, and drag things.
• I want my own way almost all the time.
• I can walk upstairs if you will hold one hand.
• I like to run, but I fall or bump into things sometimes.
• I’m beginning to use one hand more than the other.
• When things don’t go the way I want them to, I get angry.
• I’m learning to crawl backwards down the stairs.
• I like to grab anything I can reach.

Play I Enjoy

• I like playing with nesting toys and stacking toys.
• I often run around without any special plan.
• I like pushing wheel toys and large toy boxes and other things around the floor.
• I may be able to string large, colored, wooden beads.
• I like blowing bubbles.
• I still don’t play very long with any one thing.

What I Can Do For Myself

• I can help put toys away.
• I may be able to turn on some faucets.
• When I’m ready for bed, I may bring you my pillow or my favorite stuffed toy.

What I Have Learned

• I can fit a round block into around hole.
• I can point to one or two parts of my body if you name them.
• I can copy the simple lines you make on paper.
• I may be able to match circles and squares on a form board.
• I am beginning to remember where things belong.
• I can use a stick to get a toy.
• I can build a tower of two or three blocks.
• With your help, I can turn pages of a book.

How I Get Along with Others

• I’m still mostly just interested in myself.
• I may be grabby and greedy.
• Sometimes I’m stubborn and bossy, but sometimes I’m friendly.
• I may be afraid of some things, like thunder and lightning and large animals.
• I may have temper tantrums when I’m tired or angry.
• I still love to show off and get attention.

Some children do things earlier or later than described here. Most differences are normal. Focus on what your child can do and get excited about each new skill. If you notice that your child is lagging behind in one or more areas for several months, use this list to talk with your doctor about your child’s development.

Avoid Spoiling Your Child: Set and Reinforce Limits

Most of us think a “spoiled” child is one who always expects to get their own way, even at the expense of others. They are demanding, self-centered, and most unpleasant to be around.

You cannot spoil a young baby by giving them care, comfort, and attention when they want it. One-year-olds who have been well cared for are generally secure and trusting. Babies who have uncertain care during their first year may become fearful and more demanding.

During a child’s second and third years, “spoiling” can happen if parents don’t set limits or don’t enforce limits regularly. Children become spoiled when parents give in to unreasonable demands, and allow annoying behavior.

• When limits are clear and enforced all the time, children learn how to succeed within these limits.
• Children need and want reasonable limits and rules they can understand and follow.
• Don’t be afraid that your toddler will dislike you if you don’t always give them what they want. Let them know you love them, but will not let them misbehave.
• Help them understand what the rules are, why they are needed, and what will happen if they do not follow them. Setting and enforcing limits shows your toddler that you will help them to grow up safe, capable and “unspoiled.”

Let Your Child Decide How Much Food to Eat

Have you ever cooked a healthy meal, placed it in front of your child, and watched while they push the plate away after a few bites — or without even trying anything? You may feel frustrated and you might worry that your child isn’t eating enough, but most toddlers eat enough for growth and health. They don’t need to be bribed or rewarded to eat more.

It takes a lot of patience to help children this age learn to eat well.

• Let your child serve themself. While they may start out taking more than they need, over time they will learn to take just the right amount.
• Let your child decide how much to eat. Only your child knows how hungry they are, so let them decide how much to eat. Let them eat until they start to feel full, then let them stop. If your child asks for more of a certain food and you don’t have any more of it, say you’re sorry there isn’t any more. Then offer more of the food that is still left.
• Don’t punish your child for eating too little or too much. If you do, your child will feel ashamed of their appetite and will begin to feel guilty about food. When your child refuses a certain food, or refuses to eat at all, you might think they’re being stubborn. If you watch your child’s behavior, you may get a clearer idea of why they’re not eating.

Here is what might be happening:

• They’re not hungry. Like adults, children have different hunger schedules. Some toddlers wake up starving. Others are not ready to eat until after they’ve been up a while. Children are good at figuring out if they’re hungry and how much they need to eat. Serve nutritious meals and snacks at regular times, but never force a child who’s not hungry to eat something.
• They’re not hungry today. Don’t expect your child to eat the same amount every day. Some days your child will be very hungry. Other days they will be less hungry.
• They’re full after just a few bites. Toddlers’ stomachs are small, and can’t hold much food at one time. That’s why snacks are an important part of what your child eats every day. Encourage them to eat when they’re hungry, and stop when they starts to feel full.
• They don’t like foods with strong smells, crunchy or slimy textures, or sharp flavors. Like most other children, your child may refuse to eat a certain food just because of what it looks like or smells like — without even trying it. It may take 7-15 times before they’re willing to eat it.
• They’re distracted by something else. Toddlers have very short attention spans. They may not want to eat because they see or hear something more interesting. Serve meals and snacks at a table, away from toys they like. Turn off the TV, and don’t answer the phone.
• They’re trying to get your attention. Children want attention from their parents. If they can’t get that attention through good behavior, they will misbehave to get attention. Spend more time with your child during meals. Instead of using their mealtime as a chance to do housework, sit down and eat as a family. Use the mealtime to talk, and be sure to include them. When they get your attention in positive ways, they are less likely to act out.
• They want to make their own decisions. Toddlers want chances to decide things for themselves. If you try to force them to eat, you are setting up a power struggle. Give them simple choices: choose between the green bib and the yellow one; decide whether to eat the corn or the beans first.

A Hearing Test Is an Important Part of Your Child’s Regular Medical Checkup

• When a child is under 3 years of age, hearing is tested by observing your child’s response to sound and their ability to learn new words.
• When children turn three, they can usually learn how to take hearing screening tests.
• If your child has a hearing test, be patient. They may not understand what to do in order to cooperate fully.

Infants and toddlers frequently have colds that can lead to ear infections. If ear infections are not detected and treated, the toddler may have hearing problems.

•  Catching hearing problems early is the key to successful treatment and the prevention of hearing loss. A hearing problem can interfere with the development of normal language and learning.
• Parents can protect their child’s hearing by making sure that infections are treated and hearing is regularly tested by their doctors.

When Others Criticize, You Can Listen but Not Agree

Sometimes others seem to be criticizing you all the time. It’s hard to be calm when someone is putting you down, but the way you respond can make a big difference. You can let them know that you ACCEPT what they say, but you don’t have to AGREE with them.

By accepting, you’re simply saying, “I hear you.” Here are some accepting words you can use to give a little breathing room and avoid arguments.

•  So you think I….
• I’ll think about what you said….
• I can see how you might feel that way….

If you don’t argue, it’s hard for others to keep putting you
down.