Help Your Toddler by Listening and Answering Their Questions

One of your most important jobs is to help your child understand who they are and help them feel capable of doing things for themself. A child begins very early to form either positive or negative pictures of themself.

You can help your child feel capable by:

• Telling them that you like who they are and you like the way they do things. Let them know when you think they do a good job.
• Use smiles as well as words. Thank them for hanging their towel up.
• Tell your child what to do — rather than what not to do. Instead of saying, “Don’t carry the cat that way” say, “Carry your cat like this.” That helps them learn how to do things the right way.
• Listen carefully. Take time to understand their feelings, joys, and fears. You are showing them that their ideas and feelings are important. All this will help them to feel valued and capable. You are helping them become the responsible, successful person you want them to be.

What Is It Like to Be 23–24 Months Old?

What I Can Do Myself

• I can take off all my clothes and I can put most of my clothes back on.
• I like to unwrap packages.
• I know what a toilet is, but I may not want to use it yet.
• I can turn doorknobs and open doors. Keep dangerous things out of my sight and out of my reach.
• I want to do a lot of things myself.

How I Talk

• I ask questions just to keep you talking with me.
• I can answer some questions, such as “What is your name?” “What does the dog say?”  “What does the cat say?”
• I can name many things that I see often, such as things in my house, my preschool, or neighborhood.
• I’m learning the meaning of “soon” and am learning to wait.
• I can ask for food and drink.

What I Have Learned

• I can sit and “read” picture books, turning the pages for myself.
• I can put together a puzzle of three to six pieces.
• I know pretty well where things are located in and around my house.
• I can make a tower of eight blocks.

How I Get Along with Others

• I still don’t understand sharing, but I like to be with other children sometimes.
• I like to please others.
• I am interested in babies and their mothers.
• I am afraid of rejection.
• I like to order other people around.
• I sometimes show my anger by slapping, biting, and hitting.
• I want my way in everything.
• I am sometimes stubborn, and I use words like, “It’s mine,” “I don’t like it,” “Go away,” “I won’t,” and “No” a lot.

Play I Enjoy

• I like to play simple chase games like tag.
• A teddy bear or soft doll is still my favorite toy.
• I like to take things apart and put them together. Watch out that I don’t play with small pieces that could choke me.
• I can stack five rings on a peg toy in the right order.
• I like to be pushed on a swing.
• I play happily with soft play dough.

How I Grow

• I can pedal a small tricycle.
• I like to run more than I like to walk.
• I like to walk on low walls while you hold my hand.
• I can walk a few steps on tiptoe.
• I might be afraid of the noise of trains, trucks, toilet flushing, and the vacuum cleaner. I might also fear rain, wind, and wild animals. Be patient with me.

Some children do things earlier or later than described here. Most differences are normal. Focus on what your child can do and get excited about each new skill. If you notice that your child is lagging behind in one or more areas for several months, use this list to talk with your doctor about your child’s development.

Even Super Parents Have Children Who Misbehave

Parents often think they aren’t doing a “good” job if their children don’t act the way they “should.” No matter how good you are as a parent, your child will misbehave. If you feel responsible for all of your child’s misbehavior you will feel stress. That stress is hard on you and can cause you to be hard on your child. This will make things worse for both of you.

• Think positive. Instead of putting yourself down, try to give yourself some helpful messages. For example, sometimes parents think, “If I were a good parent, my child wouldn’t be having so many tantrums.” How about telling yourself and your child, “We got through that trip to the store without any fussing at all!”
• No one is perfect. Young children need parents who try their best, but that doesn’t mean we can succeed 100 percent of the time. We all make mistakes. When you’re not feeling OK, try your best, but don’t worry that you are not a super parent. Give yourself and your child credit for the good times and remember that nobody is perfect.

Make a Shape Board and Match Things That Are Alike

Your toddler will learn how to match objects that are alike. These kinds of games help them do better in school later on.

Materials

• Cardboard sheet about 8½ by 11 inches
• Crayon
• White paper

Making the Toy

• Draw simple shapes like a circle, a square, a triangle, and a star on the cardboard. Color each shape with one crayon.
• Then draw, color and cut out the same matching shapes from white paper.

Playing

Show your child how to match the cut-out shapes to the shapes drawn on the board. Talk about the pieces, naming their shapes. Ask your child to put the star on the star, the circle on the circle, the square on the square, and so on.

Remember, play this and any game only as long as it is fun for both of you. Praise your child’s efforts; do not point out their failures.

Answer Your Child’s Questions about Differences in Boys and Girls

Your toddler is learning fast. You love their curiosity and you want them to ask questions because you know it means they are learning. Do you listen to their questions about sex?

Your toddler will have questions about where babies come from and why boys and girls look different from each other. Sure, these questions can be embarrassing, especially when they come when you are in public.

Whenever you see your little one wondering about sex, you have a good chance to help them. You can show your toddler you like their curiosity and you want them to learn about all kinds of things, including sex.

If you can talk to your child now about sex, it will be much easier for both of you to talk about it later. As they grow, the way they think and act about sex will become more important to them and to their relationships with others.

Your toddler will wonder about babies and where they come from. Tell them the truth in words that they know — something like “Babies grow in a special place inside the mother’s body.” Show them you are glad they asked the question. If they ask how babies get inside the mother, you may simply say that, “Babies are made by mothers and fathers together.” You could explain that the father’s sperm comes into the mother through the father’s penis.

Your child’s early questions about sex may be about the differences between men and women.

• Little girls may wonder why they have no penis; boys may worry that they could lose their penis. You can help your child learn that boys and girls are born with different genitals or private parts.
• Your toddler should know the correct names for their body’s sexual parts. Teach them these as you teach them the names of other body parts.

All young children handle their genitals. Most children like to explore all parts of their bodies. When they handle their genitals and find that this feels good; they may rub them. They may rub them when they feel bored or upset.

Some exploring of genitals does no harm. It is normal and it is best for you to ignore it. If you try to stop it and tell your children that they have done something wrong, they might think that sex and sexual feelings are bad. Just re-direct them and get them interested in playing with a toy or playing a game with you.

Two Year Olds May Bite

Sometimes, when young children play together, they push, hit, slap, or bite. Biting and forceful hitting must be stopped right away. Most children bite and hit when they are feeling angry or frustrated. When your little one bites you or another child:

• Say firmly, “No. Biting hurts.”
• Move them to a safe place; look them in the eyes and say, “Stay here until you feel calmer. I cannot let you bite.” After a minute or two (never more than two minutes), ask them if they are ready to play again without biting or hitting. If they say yes, let them return to their play.
• Never bite or hit your toddler back. This does not stop the biting. In fact, it may make them believe that biting is all right.
• Most children who bite only do it for a short time.

Hitting may continue for a longer time than biting. Help your toddler learn better ways to handle their anger.

• Teach them to use words like “Stop that,” “Go away,” “I don’t like that” instead of hitting and biting.
• When your little one uses words instead of hurting someone, praise their with words and hugs and say, “You did a good job of using words instead of hurting.”

As your toddler learns to say their feelings in words, the hitting and biting will decrease.

Toilet or Potty Train Girls at about 2 Years Old, Boys at about 2 ½ Years

Many girls are ready for toilet training or potty training at about age 2. Most boys are ready at about 2 ½ years. Boys and girls differ in their development at this age. Don’t rush toilet training.

When you think your child is ready to be trained to use the toilet:

• Teach your child the words they need to ask to go to the toilet. A good time to do this is when you change their diaper. Tell them why you are changing them. “You urinated and made your diapers wet” or “You had a BM or bowel movement.” Show them and tell them the word for the toilet or potty chair you will want them to use. Some children will let you know when they need to go to the toilet by saying the words, pulling your hand, or tugging at their diaper.
• When your child is ready for training, it helps to dress them in loose-fitting training pants that can pull off easily.
• When your child shows they want to go to the toilet, sit with them at least the first few times.
1. Don’t give them toys to play with.
2. Don’t insist that they sit on the toilet when they want to get off, even if they have not “done” anything.
• Always praise for successes by saying things like, “You made it to the potty!” Don’t punish accidents.